5 Days to a New Years Revolution; Day 4 Getting in our own way
Its New Years eve and also day 4 of our News Years Revolution
We have explored fear & roadblocks getting in our way, today we explore when we get in our own way which is one of the biggest reasons our New Years resolutions fall away.
We can get in our own way in a number of ways eg
Self Doubt
Self Sabotage
Reversed validation requirements aka needing others to validate our worth, performance, value & goals
Fear can also play a part in all of the above reasons.
As with all unmet goals (I’m not a fan of the word failure - its s a form of feedback) the conscious thinking brain plays a big part in rationalising without us knowing its happening.
This means that we will always find great & practical reasons for the unmet goal, whilst completely normal & human - it keeps us playing small.
We cant recognise the reason because the brain has done an excellent job of diverting us form the real underlying limit
To get out of our own way - we have to recognise that it happens.
Think about the repeated New Years Resolutions over the years…
Consider the reasons as to why goals that were unmet, perhaps you would say;
Life got in the way
I changed my direction
The goal was unrealistic
I became injured, unwell, disinterested or changed my mind
Nobody was there to help me
The goalposts at work shifted
These are just some of the rational reasons that we associate with unmet goals.
Is there a theme for you?
Ask yourself
Do I have any regrets about the unmet goal? (Would I have liked to keep trying?). Am I disappointed that I didn't?
How was I feeling about the goal before it fell away?
Was I worried, anxious or stressed about the goal?
What things do I say about it to people eg
‘I was never going to be any good at that’ ‘Im not cut out for it’ ‘I wasn’t ready’ ‘Im not good enough’
What things did/do other people say about it eg
‘I was surprised you aimed so high’ ‘I knew you would give it away’ ‘no one thought you’d succeed’
As you think of your current aspirational goal - what is your inner critic trying to say to you to reign you back in?
What are the reasons popping into your mind about the goal not being a success?
What pattern have you noticed when big goals become out of reach? eg outsourcing, quitting, becoming very busy, self sabotage, giving other people the credit or losing self faith?
The answers to these questions will often begin to reveal self limiting beliefs that are being triggered - old stories of when the world told us we weren’t capable.
We still believe them, we still believe that’s who we are and how we fit in the world.
BUT we no longer have to believe them.
They are being triggered so that you can grow past them.
Perhaps you recognise the words in your own self deprecating dialogue - GREAT we know exactly where to start your UNLEARNING process.
What’s underneath this self growth is your next potential - who is capable of achieving this goal even if it’s been unmet multiple times.
Maybe you recognise a pattern of low self confidence or waiting for other people to give you permission to step up, succeed or celebrate your wins. This very common phenomena happens when our internal programming requires validation from others in order for us to feel;
Worthy
Valuable
Confident
Accepted
When our validation needs are reversed we find it hard to back ourselves or make decisions without somebody (possible a person of authority) to validate, accept or approve of us.
Of course we all enjoy feedback, validation and to know we are on the right track however if we no longer NEED it to grow it becomes supportive information rather than a necessity for us to move forward or see our own value/ potential/ growth needs.
We can take ownership of our own growth, performance & success toward goals.
Finally just by losing sight of the aspiration behind our goals we are getting in our own way - so how can you ignite that aspiration daily into your goal?
Whatever you aspirational goal is, by design it will bring up triggers to make you uncomfortable - this is the growth zone and this is a wonderful thing.
By exploring your reactions to this New Years Revolution you have been given a snapshot of what could pop up - NOT to get in your way…
To pave the way for your self-growth into that goal.
Congratulations!
Would you like to take it a step further or step into that growth NOW?
I am currently taking bookings for Limits UNEARTHED Half Day Intensive;
1/2 day working with me 1:1
90 minute mapping session to UNEARTH the limits blocking your potential. Identify the patterns that are driven by the UNEARTHED limits.
60 min coaching session to UNLEARN & replace your biggest limit with powerful resources
Activated Mindset Tool unique to your own programming & growth needs.
Limits Unearthed will identify exactly what is in the way of your development & finally overcome limits to your highest potential.
January has 6 remaining places and is perfect for you to UNEARTH anything in the way of your New Years Revolution!
Claim your space NOW (session time organised next week)
https://mailchi.mp/529cf296cafb/limits-unearthed-half-day-intensive
See you tomorrow for Day 5 of your New Years Revolution!